"celebrate the effort, not the result" - Dr. Cathy Collautt
I heard this quote today and it floored me. It´s so true. Why do I keep forgetting that? Somewhere deep inside I know that is the truth. "Live in the moment" and "try your hardest" but sometimes I still feel like sh#t after I failed at something, not sure if I should try again or just give up all together.
Photo by: Mark S. Kornbluth
When I heard this quote I knew it was true.
Why do we kicking ourselves when we fail? And why is it so hard to keep going afterwards?
For me I think there are something that is telling me that failing is not ok, failing is what losers do, if you fail, it´s no idea to keep going. Failing means; if you can´t succeed for the first time, it´s no use.
Now, listen to it while I am writing these words, I know in my heart that it´s not true at all. And writing it down make the words less true. Cause instead of letting them roll around in my head I put them down in words, which takes away their power.
I recommend you to do the same. When you fail or something happens that makes you wanna give up. Write the words down, exactly what your head tells you. Whatever you are telling yourself, it´s nothing to be ashamed about and it is something we all do.
When you have written the words down, look at them. Do you still believe them? Or are they just negative words that´s now in front of you instead of in your head. If you still believe them, you might wanna try and get more out. You want to get everything out!
Now when you have gotten the words out, bring your thoughts back to the "truth"
the truth? yes, you know, that your failure was not the end, but a step on your way to success.
Give yourself time to grief and really feel the disappointment, but don´t stay in it forever.
Now, when you have gotten over the worst part. Can you see why you failed? Can you see how it happen?
This is rough part but I want you to stay with me here. This is the part where you take responsibility to what happen and see your part in it. What was your part in the failure? What could you have done different? Did you not listen to your gut instinct? Did you not listen to the signs?
This is not a way for you to feel worse, this is where you find reasons why things failed and what you can learn from it. It`s not easy but if you get through it, you can then take that lesson with you and grow. And from that lesson I am pretty sure that your success is much closer.
That also means admit when it´s time to start over, try something else or just tweak things a little bit.
Moste important, be nice to yourself. Do not, I say do not blame yourself when you do this. See it as it is without bashing yourself.
"Feel and think about yourself like you would empathize take care of your closest friends." - Johanna Moritz
I know it´s hard, but who said things will be easy?
Do you use any techniques to get over failure? Please share in the comments below, and maybe you can help other people do the same:
It was when i saw Marie Forleo´s newest video 4-steps How to overcome failure that I heard this quote. If you want to go deeper into this topic and get some great tools how to overcome failure and see it differently, watch the video!
"celebrate the effort, not the result" - Dr. Cathy Collautt