Stop being cheap with yourself

I'm ashamed to admit this but, sometimes I buy things that are bad for my body cause I think I can't afford it.

Not putting yourself and your health first. I buy the cheapest crap cause I think I can't afford it.

"Better to save $2 right"?

No no .. Please take care of yourself. I have to remind myself to stop doing it and I hope that you are not doing this to yourself.

Sometimes I buy something I did not want but it was the cheapest choice. Then I don't get satisfied and I end up buying something else also - which in the end made me spend more money anyways.

Why do we do it? Cause it´s hard to put ourselves first. We hear that voice inside telling us that it´s more worth spending money on someone else then ourselves. We don´t want to be selfish, right?

I hope you know that voice is BULLBAJS! (bajs is shit in swedish)

The one person you should take care of first is yourself cause if you don´t take care of yourself, who will? Getting the best things for your own self is the highest grade of gratitude you can give to the world. Cause by loving yourself you will have so much love to give to others.

And loving yourself will show the way for others to do the same. And is there any better gift than that?

So let´s start today, is there anything you have decided that you can´t do for yourself cause you don´t believe you should? it´s better to save that money? if it is buying that extra nice blouse you have seen, or buying the organic apples you can´t stop thinking about.

Anything, does not have to cost money, maybe it is getting away for a weekend by yourself that you know you need but feeling selfish about. DO IT! book and go! you and your family will thank you after, when they see that happy and fulfilled person you become by putting your needs first.

Why it's good to get pissed off sometimes

Why it's healthy to get pissed of sometimes and how to do it constructively

You might wanna tell me, hey' I'm pissed off, leave me alone and let me be pissed off.

That's all good but an important note is to not let it  on Te loved ones. Even if that is the person you are pissed off about.

What am I talking about? you just said that it´s good to get pissed off, make up your mind!

Now here is the thing, what I am talking about that you should always listen to your feelings and feel your feelings.

When it comes to sharing the feelings and try to express it to someone else who made you pissed of, it helps to do it in the right way and in the right time.

So of course, feel pissed of if you are! Feel it with all your body and own it. Then when it has settled enough so that you can express you being pissed in a productive way. There are some things to be aware about that might help you get the response and understanding you are looking for.

How many times have we not gotten pissed off, saved up a bunch of pissness" (don´t you just love my non words?) that list in your head about what you are angry about, and then lashes out on you loved one.

How many times have that gone well?

Never for me I tell you. Defensiveness and nastiness or silence.. Not sure what is worse.

And think about it.

You had the advantage all along. And when you are angry - you have already won. No one can tell you not to be angry.

You have felt something and thought about it for hours, days or even weeks so you have the perfect "talk"

While the person has no or very small knowledge what is going on in your head.

You want to find the right moment.
But is the right moment for you, the right moment for the other person?

And then another thing triggers your anger and you lash out right then and there.

Afterwards you feel terrible and it did not help at all.

I know you wanted connection? Understanding?

Instead you got defensiveness, silence or passive aggressiveness.

What was wrong?

You ha the advantage of exactly what you where feeling.

It was the right moment for you - but maybe not the other person best time

You talked when you were angry or in any other negative emotion which is very hard to take.

What we can do:

• When we feel something - try and solve it as fast as possible. Don't let to grow inside you for a long time. It will just grow stronger than it has to be.

• Talk about when you are in a good place emotionally. It might not feel as rewarding in some ways cause when we feel the urge to talk, it's hard not to let it out. But it will be so much more rewarding if you can bring it up from a loving place. It´s when you do that,  you will get the response you want without all the defensive yuckiness.

• Make an appointment! Want to talk about something - check If it is a good time and of it I my. See he not is a good time. Then you both are ready and prepared for a talk. Big or small. It's fare enough, right?

• Think about it, you have had days or maybe weeks to think about this thing so you know exactly what to say. Is it not fair to give the person you will talk to a little preparation and thinking time before as well?

Believe me when I tell you that I have done all these mistakes, and I still do sometimes (so sorry honey)

Your turn! I would love to hear what and if you got something out of this or if you have anything to add to this.

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Want to know how to overcome failure?

"celebrate the effort, not the result" - Dr. Cathy Collautt

I heard this quote today and it floored me. It´s so true. Why do I keep forgetting that? Somewhere deep inside I know that is the truth. "Live in the moment" and "try your hardest" but sometimes I still feel like sh#t after I failed at something, not sure if I should try again or just give up all together.

Photo by: Mark S. Kornbluth

When I heard this quote I knew it was true.

Why do we kicking ourselves when we fail? And why is it so hard to keep going afterwards?

For me I think there are something that is telling me that failing is not ok, failing is what losers do, if you fail, it´s no idea to keep going. Failing means; if you can´t succeed for the first time, it´s no use.

Now, listen to it while I am writing these words, I know in my heart that it´s not true at all. And writing it down make the words less true. Cause instead of letting them roll around in my head I put them down in words, which takes away their power.

I recommend you to do the same. When you fail or something happens that makes you wanna give up. Write the words down, exactly what your head tells you. Whatever you are telling yourself, it´s nothing to be ashamed about and it is something we all do.

When you have written the words down, look at them. Do you still believe them? Or are they just negative words that´s now in front of you instead of in your head. If you still believe them, you might wanna try and get more out. You want to get everything out!

Now when you have gotten the words out, bring your thoughts back to the "truth"

the truth? yes, you know, that your failure was not the end, but a step on your way to success.

Give yourself time to grief and really feel the disappointment, but don´t stay in it forever.

Now, when you have gotten over the worst part. Can you see why you failed? Can you see how it happen?

This is rough part but I want you to stay with me here. This is the part where you take responsibility to what happen and see your part in it. What was your part in the failure? What could you have done different? Did you not listen to your gut instinct? Did you not listen to the signs?

This is not a way for you to feel worse, this is where you find reasons why things failed and what you can learn from it. It`s not easy but if you get through it, you can then take that lesson with you and grow. And from that lesson I am pretty sure that your success is much closer.

That also means admit when it´s time to start over, try something else or just tweak things a little bit.

Moste important, be nice to yourself. Do not, I say do not blame yourself when you do this. See it as it is without bashing yourself.

"Feel and think about yourself like you would empathize take care of your closest friends." - Johanna Moritz

I know it´s hard, but who said things will be easy?

Do you use any techniques to get over failure? Please share in the comments below, and maybe you can help other people do the same:

It was when i saw Marie Forleo´s newest video 4-steps How to overcome failure  that I heard this quote. If you want to go deeper into this topic and get some great tools how to overcome failure and see it differently, watch the video!

"celebrate the effort, not the result" - Dr. Cathy Collautt